PRACTICAL THINKING?
The human brain is the most important tool we have. It’s more important than
any technology, device, or instrument. Robert Greene, the author of Mastery,
put it best: “If there is any instrument you must fall in love with and fetishize,
it is the human brain—the most miraculous, awe-inspiring, information-
processing tool devised in the known universe, with a complexity we can’t
even begin to fathom, and with dimensional powers that far outstrip any piece
of technology in sophistication and usefulness.”
However, there’s one problem. We’re born with this great tool, but we don’t
know how to use it properly. We’re highly impractical beings. We think that
we’re good thinkers, but research paints a different picture. We think we
make practical decisions that we base on logic. But that’s not the case, as Dan
Ariely, author of Predictable Irrationality, writes: “We usually think of
ourselves as sitting in the driver's seat, with ultimate control over the
decisions we made and the direction our life takes; but, alas, this perception
has more to do with our desires—with how we want to view ourselves-than
with reality.” (emphasis mine)
It’s safe to say we’re not practical thinkers! The proof of that is the list of
more than a hundred cognitive biases (or thinking errors) that scientists have
found over the last century. We often make decisions based on gut feelings,
emotions, and without having the right information. I’ve read several books
about better thinking and decision making. I liked them. But I had one
problem with all the books in this field: They weren’t practical. They do a
great job of describing why we think the way we think by sharing stories. ButI couldn’t find a practical book that explained how to change the way you
think.
That’s why I wrote this little book. It contains everything I’ve learned about
thinking. My goal is to give you at least one idea that you can use to improve
your thoughts, and consequently, your life, business, or career. That’s why I
share all my best ideas here. I wrote THINK STRAIGHT in a way that you
can read it more than once. And I hope this book serves as an anchor to you
—especially during trying times.
To keep this book practical, I combine theory, stories, and personal
experiences to share advice you can apply (or not). The first idea I want to
share is that these types of books only work if you’re open-minded. If you
think that’s not you right now, I can save you an hour of your life. Just get rid
of this book. Burn it, ask for a refund, give it away, whatever. No matter what
you do, decide clearly: Use it or leave it.
USE WHAT WORKS
I’m not a neuroscientist, psychologist, philosopher, or any type of expert on
the topic of “thinking.” I’m a person who has lived his entire life under the
impression that you can’t control your thoughts. That way of thinking didn’t
serve me well. I was happy one day, sad the next. I got angry easily. And I
couldn’t find solutions to simple challenges I faced in my career, business,
and relationships. But through experience, journaling, reading, and a lot of
introspection, I’ve found a way to get better at thinking.
How do I know I’m better at thinking than before? I’m no longer a slave to
my thoughts and I’m much happier because of it. I use my mind, and it’s no
longer the other way around. To me, that’s the definition of better thinking. It
has nothing to do with how smart you are or how many mathematical
equations you can solve. It’s about using your mind to get what you want.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers to thinking better, though. However, I
do have the answers to how I’ve used nothing but my thoughts to live a
happier, healthier, wealthier, and more meaningful life.
I’m the living proof of the “change your thoughts, change your life” idea.
Only three short years ago, I was stressed out of my mind, gave up my
entrepreneurial desires, and hated my life. I felt stuck. But I don’t want to be
too dramatic about my situation. I think we’ve all been there. And if you
haven’t felt stuck in your life, it’s only a matter of time before you will. It’s a
natural part of modern day life. I’m not trying to scare you, though. But you
know how all these self-help books go, right? “I was down and out. I lost all
my money. I was depressed. My life sucked. But then I discovered X. And
then my life changed.”X is, of course, the idea they want to sell you. Since I'm honest with you, I’m
no different. For example, in this book, I want to sell you on the idea of
useful and useless thoughts. But there’s a difference. I’m giving you my
perspective—nothing more. It’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do
with it.
John Dewey, a pragmatist, and one of the fathers of functional psychology,
famously said: “The true is that which works.” But that doesn’t mean we
should believe everything we hear or read. That makes us delusional.
If we want to think straight at all times, we must stay grounded, look at facts,
listen to other people’s perspectives, and only then draw practical
conclusions.
CLEAR THINKING REQUIRES TRAINING
I view the mind as a muscle that requires regular training to keep strong. One
way to train your mind is by learning new things. But I always thought that
learning ends when your education ends. For some, that’s when they leave
high school, for others, it’s when they get their bachelor’s or master’s degree.
During our time in school, we learn new skills, ideas, and theories that
change the way we think and operate in the world. But once we’ve
established a way of thinking, we hardly change it. We prefer to entertain the
same thoughts because they give us a sense of familiarity. We’ve learned that
novelty is a scary thing—so we do everything to avoid it. We’re creatures of
habit who prefer relaxing our mind instead of straining it. “I need to relax
and watch something on Netflix,” is something I hear almost everyone, of all
ages, say these days. I’ve said it myself as well.
That makes me wonder what we need rest from? From the repetitive tasks we
do at work? From the familiar thought patterns we have? If you really think
about it, we hardly strain our minds unless there’s a specific reason—like a
test or exam we have to take. Otherwise, we often think, “What’s the point?”
Well, the point is to train your mind just like you train your body to keep fit.
You don’t go to the gym for four years and quit for the rest of your life. So
why don’t you exercise your mind the same way you do your body?
What’s more, the mind is the single most important tool you have. And if you
want to use that tool properly, you must train the mind. Stoic philosopher
Epictetus put it best: “The life of wisdom is a life of reason. It is important to
learn how to think clearly. Clear thinking is not a haphazard enterprise. It
requires proper training.”The problem is that we don’t know how we must get proper training, as
Epictetus put it. For most of my life, my thoughts were out of control. I never
thought about thinking. If you asked me to draw my thoughts, it would look
something like this:That mess you see up there is how the inside of my mind looked like. It was
pure chaos. Just a mush of positive, negative, sad, happy and, above all,
confusing thoughts. I always thought to myself, “Why can’t my brain stop?
Where’s the pause button?” Looking back, I didn’t know how to use my
brain as the wonderful tool it is.FROM CHAOS TO CLARITY
In 2014, I moved to London from Leeuwarden, The Netherlands, the city
where I grew up. I went from a city with a hundred thousand people to a city
where seven million people live. Things were harder than I expected.
Especially when it came to finding a place to live. After doing research and
talking to my new co-workers, I learned that it was almost impossible to find
an apartment in a short period without getting ripped off. Instead, I decided to
rent a room (which was a lot easier) for three months. And I decided to
explore different areas in London that were within an hour commute by
public transportation to my work. That was my plan. And everything went
well. At first.
After two months, I found a small and affordable one-bedroom apartment in
Earlsfield, in South-West London. I had planned everything. I canceled the
lease of the room I rented, and signed the lease for the new apartment. My
parents and brother even drove over from Holland to help out. And because I
didn’t have much stuff, we could just use their car to move my things from
the old place to the new place, which were only 10 minutes apart.
In my mind, this would be the deal: I would just pack up my stuff, get the key
to the new place, hand the keys back to the old landlord, and move into the
new place, watch Netflix and relax. Also, I expected to do everything on the
same day.
Well, things didn’t go as planned after all. My new landlady changed her
mind last minute and decided not to rent out her apartment. She told me this a
day before the day I planned the move. All of a sudden, I had no place to live
and had an SUV full of my things. That night, in my parents’ hotel room, Ipanicked. Big time.
“I don’t know what to do! I have no place, my stuff is in a van, I brought you
guys over from Holland, and now I’m sitting here like an idiot.”
I continued blaming myself for the rest of the day and evening. You’re
probably thinking, “Really?” Yes, looking back on this, I can’t help but think
that I may have acted a little bit too dramatic. Well, let’s just call it like it
was: I was overdramatic. And not just a little. That’s exactly why I picked out
this example because it shows how stupid I was in my thinking. I spent so
much time in my head that I had lost sight of the situation. I wasn’t thinking
clearly. And for what? Some first world problem? C’mon.
The next day, I woke up, and with the encouragements of my parents and
brother, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and to start finding a
solution instead. I said to myself, “THINK STRAIGHT.”
I knew I had to replace the mess with clarity. I wanted to get straight to the
point. I pictured this:
On the left: A mush of useless thoughts: Worry, stress, suffering, confusion,
not knowing what to do.On the right: ONE straight thought that has a (single) useful purpose. I
wanted to start using my mind as a tool. In the case of my London story, I
needed to look for a solution—fast.
It turned out that was easy, once I started thinking straight. I booked an
Airbnb until I found a new place. In the end, we stayed in an Airbnb for a
week. The landlady changed her mind again and decided to rent the
apartment to me anyway.
So, all my stressing, worrying, and thinking were especially useless. How
often does that happen? We’re always so quick to judge and draw
conclusions based on our assumptions. We’re all human beings. We make
mistakes. We change our minds. And we assume things that are not true all
the time. That’s normal. What’s not normal is to let your mind go out of
control.
And after many other useless thinking episodes, I decided to change. I didn’t
have one big epiphany or super dramatic moment that forced me to change.
Life is not a Hollywood drama. People that I know only change after a
culmination of problems. At some point, we stand up and say, “Enough.”
And you know what? A lot of people never change at all. But that shouldn’t
be our concern.
After years of chaos in my mind, I just had enough of mental suffering. I
can’t make it any prettier than that. You don’t need an “all is lost” moment.
Those type of moments almost never happen.
About two years ago, I started changing my thoughts. And I’ve learned to
replace the chaos in my mind with clarity. Now, there’s peace. In the rest of
this book, I’ll share with you exactly how I did it. But first, I want to share a
brief history of thinking.A (VERY) BRIEF HISTORY OF THINKING
Thoughts are important. But not all thoughts are equal. The quality of your
thoughts matters the most. Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, Marcus
Aurelius said it best: “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts
make it.”
A quick look at our surroundings shows us that life is changing faster than
ever. Jobs disappear, smartphones turn you into a zombie, education costs
you thousands, the cost of living increases rapidly, salaries don’t, you have
less time for yourself, and so on. Life changes so fast that it seems like you
wake up in a new world every day! What do your thoughts make of that? If
you’re anything like me, these developments cause a lot of thinking, aka
worrying and uncertainty. How do I survive? How do I adapt my business to
changing markets? How do I advance my career? How do I not lose my
mind? Mastering your thoughts is challenging.
The desire to master our thoughts is as old as modern civilization. Ever since
the fifth century BC, philosophers from all ages and regions agree on one
thing: The human mind is an instrument that solves problems. And many
philosophers argue that the quality of your thoughts determine the quality of
your life. From Confucius to Socrates to Descartes to William James, they all
talk about their method of thinking—a way to view the world.
Most of us know the Socratic method of questioning everything, even
yourself. “I know one thing: That I know nothing,” is what Socrates famously
told the Oracle of Delphi when Socrates was declared the wisest man on
earth. The fact that he thinks that he knows nothing makes him wise. That’s a
way of thinking.French philosopher René Descartes, who lived in the 17
th century, took it one
step further. He questioned everything in life, even his own existence.
Because how do you know you’re not dreaming or living in The Matrix?
That’s why he famously said: “Cogito ergo sum.” Popularly translated to, “I
think, therefore I am.” Descartes concluded that he must exist because he’s
able to think.
No matter how crazy your thoughts are, it’s safe to say that you do exist. So
why not make your existence a little more practical, lighthearted, fun, and
useful?
Have you ever observed or written down your thoughts? I challenge you, try
it for a day. Every two hours or so, sit down and write about what you’re
thinking at that very moment. Just don’t get scared of yourself. Most of our
thoughts make no sense at all. We’re conflicted as a species. Descartes also
reviewed his own thoughts and found many contradictions. His most
important idea is that we should question the source of our beliefs, not the
belief itself. Because most of our beliefs are based on our or other people’s
perception.
How many of your ideas are based on what others have told you? Or based
on your first thoughts or assumptions? At the core of thinking lies our ability
to separate the truth from falsehood. What is true, what is false?
One way to look at that question is to take a pragmatic perspective. William
James describes the idea of pragmatism as follows: “The attitude of looking
away from first things, principles, 'categories,' supposed necessities; and of
looking towards last things, fruits, consequences, facts.” Thoughts should
serve a useful purpose. If they don’t, they’re useless. That’s straight
thinking.
Pragmatism is a method of thinking, not a solution. In fact, all thinking is a
method. Your thoughts serve as an instrument. But it’s a conflicting
instrument that’s very hard to use. Henry Ford said it best: “Thinking is the
hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.”
Thinking is not only hard—it’s the single most important thing in life.
Remember: The quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives.
And our decisions are a result of our thoughts.
I always thought in a linear way: A leads to B. And if B is C, A also leads to
C. I looked at appearances, first thoughts, and made a lot assumptions. But
my thoughts didn’t serve a useful purpose. In fact, they served no purpose at
all. Instead of thinking, I followed convention. I let others do the thinking for
me. Most of us are like that. For example, I thought I would never have to
worry about having a job if I got my college degree. I honestly believed that
until I was about 26 years old. I figured out the hard way that nothing is
guaranteed in life and that you have to work hard to earn money. And that
making money has nothing to do with your degrees. If I had to pick another
predictor of career success I would say it’s skills. The better you are at
something, the more value you can provide to others, and the more money
people are willing to pay in exchange for your value.
Also, achieving a goal never happens linearly. Most of us believe there’s a
straight line from where you are to where you want to be. Let’s say your goal
is to start a business so you can have more freedom in your life. That was
always my goal. I thought I would just work on it until I achieved it.
Thanks to reading
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