has failed?
Would you like to become a successful businessman instead of a wannabe
entrepreneur?
Would you like to become a world-class performer instead of a mediocre
jack-of-all trades?
It all starts with committing yourself to the process and having an
unwavering belief your plan is going to work out.
Dieting is a perfect example of how powerful commitment is.
In a paper written by Rena R. Wing and Suzanne Phelan
[i]
, the authors point
out that despite “a general perception that almost no one succeeds in long-term
maintenance of weight loss, research has shown that ≈20% of overweight
individuals are successful at long-term weight loss when defined as losing at
least 10% of initial body weight and maintaining the loss for at least 1 year.”
They also cite the example of the members of the National Weight Control
Registry who have lost an average of 73 pounds (33 kg) and maintained the loss
for more than 5 years.
Their secret? Commitment.
These individuals reported engaging in high levels of physical activity (on
average at least one hour a day), eating a low-calorie diet, monitoring their
weight, and maintaining a consistent eating pattern across weekdays and
weekends. There was nothing magical about their diets.
As the authors of the paper emphasize, after these individuals have
successfully maintained their weight loss for 2–5 years, the chance of longer-
term success is greatly increased.
What happens in those two to five years that makes the success more likely?
It’s the moment when you develop long-term self-discipline, which is the result
of following your plan day in, day out.
When I was 21, I was over 30 pounds overweight. When I finally realized Idiet by Tim Ferriss
[ii]
) and stuck to it for several months. It was the first time I
tried losing weight.
I learned the guidelines and followed them to a T – including the mandatory
cheat day at the end of every week (and mind you, I took it seriously; you
wouldn’t believe the amount of food I inhaled each cheat day and still lost
weight every single week).
Unlike the majority of first-time dieters, I was successful right away. I didn’t
have to try ten different diets. I achieved my goal in about three months. I never
went back to my old physique again. Just like the subjects of the study,
maintaining healthy weight became easy once I changed my habits and stuck to
them.
Why didn’t I need to try dozens of diets before finally losing weight?
Because I understood that it didn’t matter which diet you follow (as long as
it’s not a ridiculous single-food diet), but whether you stick to it and believe in
its effectiveness.
From the weight loss point of view, the key is not the diet. The key is your
ability to adhere to a specific diet and follow it until you achieve your intended
outcome. I was also lucky to blindly believe my diet would work. I wasn’t
tempted to try any other diet. My certainty ensured I didn’t have to jump from
one diet to another to achieve my goal.
A crucial thing to underscore here is the belief that my diet would work.
Would I have the discipline and determination to keep going if I wasn’t sure
about the end goal? I doubt it. When you combine belief with commitment, you
get the perfect mixture.
This approach to dieting can be applied in every other area of life by
understanding it’s not what you do, but whether you do it consistently and with
an unwavering belief until you reach your objective.
I applied the same approach to self-confidence, learning languages, sports,
saving money, writing, and business. The most important principle –
commitment – became a crucial source of my self-discipline and my special
sauce for achievement.
However, commitment isn’t always easy. In fact, more often than not we
have to face doubt and obstacles more than a few times before we reach our
goals. And that’s why we need to learn how to deal with another “A” –
adversity
couldn’t go on like that, I picked a diet that made sense to me (it was a slow-carbC
Commitment’s Best Frenemy: Adversity
You don’t need self-discipline when things go smoothly. After all, what can
tempt you to give up if you’re winning?
Few people give up dieting on the first day or stop their workout schedules in
the middle of the first workout.
It’s only when things get more difficult, when you no longer have the initial
motivation, that you lose discipline and determination. People who are capable
of dealing with adversity are better prepared to win against their weak side and
keep going despite the temptation to give up.
And how do you become better at handling adversity? You introduce it in
your life and befriend it. When you become more comfortable with unfavorable
circumstances, you’ll be able to handle them better.
The purpose of this book is to share with you habits and exercises to build
your mental toughness, and consequently the ability to flourish even when faced
with adversity.
Your self-discipline will grow as a result of putting yourself in unfavorable
situations and going past them. You’ll also become more determined and
motivated, because pushing through obstacles and reaching goals despite them
will teach you the mindset of a winner.
Boost Your Motivation with This
Simple Trick
There’s an old adage originating in the writings of 11
th century Persian Sufi
poets. They tell the story of a powerful king who asks wise men to create a ring
that will lift his spirits when he’s sad. The sages hand him a ring with the words
“This too will pass” etched on it
[iii]
.
Abraham Lincoln incorporated the story in his address before the Wisconsin
State Agricultural Society in Milwaukee on September 30, 1859:
“It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a
sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all
times and situations. They presented him the words: “And this, too, shall pass
away.” How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How
consoling in the depths of affliction!
[iv]”
Each time you feel discouraged when trying any of the exercises or habits
described in this book, use this simple trick to realign your perspective.
Whether you’re facing adversity because you’ve put yourself against it
voluntarily (by, say, forcing yourself to wake up at six in the morning) or due to
unforeseeable circumstances, reminding yourself that everything eventually
passes is a powerful trick to aid you in enduring the discomfort.
I use this trick regularly to keep myself centered – no matter what happens, I
remind myself it’s temporary and the tide always eventually changes. It sounds
simplistic, but it works – just try it.How to Build an Unwavering Belief in Success
While you can never attain 100% certainty that you’ll achieve your goals (doubt
is always there, even if never voiced), you can take some steps to become more
confident in yourself and get more disciplined, too.
The trick is to watch what others have done to accomplish the same goal and
imitate them. By following a proven plan, you’ll get rid of a lot of uncertainty
coming from following a rarely traveled path.
If there are hundreds or thousands of people who have followed a specific
plan and achieved success, there’s nothing standing in your way of achieving it.
If your goal is to lose weight, follow a diet with lots of genuine before/after
photos and stories.
If you want to build a business, learn from experienced entrepreneurs who
have helped hundreds of other new businessmen.
If you want to acquire a certain difficult skill, learn it from someone who has
a lot of experience teaching it (and ideally, a lot of experience with learning in
general so she can better relate to your situation).
The knowledge that you’re learning from someone who has achieved the
same goal will reduce your self-doubt – after all, you’ll be traveling a proven
path, and not just wandering like a child lost in the woods.
When you combine this belief with commitment and proper mindset (“this
too shall pass”), you’ll have the basic tools to start building an iron-like resolve
to keep going no matter the circumstances.
All ideas shared in this book will help you in the long term. The goal is to
boost your baseline self-discipline, and not just give you a momentary feeling of
self-control because you overcame one little temptation.
With these fundamental keys in mind, let’s move on to more specific
exercises and habits you can introduce in your life to develop your own
discipline. Please keep in mind the objective of these exercises is self-discovery
– helping you find out what works for you in terms of building self-discipline
and what doesn’t.FUNDAMENTAL KEYS OF SELF-
DISCIPLINE: QUICK RECAP
1. The fundamental keys of self-discipline are commitment (adhering to a
specific plan until you achieve your goal) and belief that your long-term plan is
going to work out.
2. You don’t need self-discipline when things go smoothly. It’s only when
plans go south you get tempted to give up. Consequently, you need to train
yourself to handle adversity. The best way to become more capable of dealing
with unfavorable circumstances is to purposefully put yourself in them – which
is what this book is all about.
3. Whenever you feel that adversity is too much to handle, remind yourself
that “this too shall pass.” Every challenge in life is a temporary thing. You can
handle more than you believe if you remind yourself that things will soon get
better.
4. You need an unwavering belief in your plan to make commitment easier.
Ideally, follow proven advice coming from a credible person with lots of real-
world experience. For instance, when losing weight, pick a diet that has made
thousands of people slim. In the case of building a business, follow an outline
provided by a successful entrepreneur, ideally in the industry you’d like to
follow. When learning a new skill, follow the action plan laid out by an
experienced teacher.
Physical Excellence Leads to
Mastery in Life
Few people are better examples of self-discipline and commitment than
professional athletes.
What an average person sees when she looks at an elite performer – say, a
world-class tennis player – is that his abilities seem natural, easy. She concludes,
“He was born with it. It was given to him.”
And she couldn’t be farther from the truth.
What she sees is an event – the act of winning. What she doesn’t see is
thousands of hours of practice. His sore body, countless hours of drills, lost
matches, and everything else that has made him the tennis player he is today.
He had never been born with his abilities, and neither is anyone else. It’s the
result of a long process taking years or decades, not mere days or weeks.
A part of his achievement might have something to do with his innate talent
– physical strengths like great hand-eye coordination. However, if it wasn’t for
the daily self-discipline to bring out those strengths, he would never have
become a world-class tennis player.
Working on your physique to increase your speed, strength, or flexibility is a
perfect introduction to the world of building self-discipline. You won’t achieve
any of these goals without dedication, long-term planning, and determination.
According to research conducted for Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, 34.9% of US adults are obese
[v]
. In other words, it’s safe to say a
large part of the Western world has never had much experience with sports for
long enough to develop strong habits of self-discipline and persistence. If they
had, they probably wouldn’t be obese, because developing these traits generates
permanent lifestyle changes that aren’t obesity-friendly.
Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit
[vi]
, calls regular physical
activity a keystone habit – capable of introducing several more positive habits as
side effects of the first change. A study by Steven N. Blair, David R. Jacobs Jr.
and Kenneth E. Powell shows
[vii]
that regular physical activity may lead to
reduced overeating, smoking, alcohol consumption, and risk taking. By adding
physical activity to your daily routine, you can develop these positive side habits
almost automatically.
For this reason, physical excellence is an essential part of building a
disciplined life. And no, I’m not talking about becoming a world-class athlete or
a perfectly sculpted human being. Constantly working on your health and fitness
– to your capabilities and genetics, not comparing yourself to others – is what
builds a great deal of discipline in life.
You can’t build a strong body in a few months, which makes it a perfect
activity to add as one of your daily self-discipline building habits. When you
adhere to a specific routine for months or years on end and you start seeing the
results, you can’t help but learn to respect the process. It’s when you switch from
the event-oriented to the process-oriented life when the magic happens.
As MJ DeMarco, bestselling author of The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the
Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime
[viii]
, writes in his book, “Success
demands your focused exercise into the journey and the tools of that journey
(process) as opposed to the destination (event).Habit: Follow a Workout Plan Religiously
Gym attendance (or any other kind of fitness activity done on a regular basis) is
a useful indicator of how disciplined you are.
A meta-analysis conducted by Ryan Rhodes at the University of Victoria in
British Columbia and Gert-Jan de Bruijn at the University of Amsterdam[ix]
shows that among the people making fitness-related New Year’s resolutions,
46% of them quit by June.
Gym Membership Statistics by International Health, Racquet & Sportsclub
Association
[x] show even worse numbers – 67% of people with gym
memberships never use them. The gyms actually make more money on people
who don’t use them than the ones who do.
Let’s guess how disciplined these people are...
There are two pieces of the puzzle at play to achieve an ideal physique. The
first one is physical activity. The second one – arguably more important – is
maintaining the proper diet.
Both regular physical activity and a healthy diet require a dose of daily
discipline. When you follow these two habits daily, you’ll build a powerful
source of discipline you’ll be able to use to achieve other goals in your life.
Let’s start with physical activity. Since this is not a fitness book, I won’t give
you an exact plan to follow. Just like there’s no perfect plan when dieting,
there’s also no perfect plan for exercise.
The only requirement is to introduce some kind of a tracking system in your
weekly schedule and stick to it. For instance, you’ll exercise on average an hour
a day, and do it no matter what. Neither weather, laziness, nor your friends
coming over for a weekend will deter you from exercising.
I’m partial to weightlifting and other anaerobic types of exercise that can
build muscle and help you achieve a stronger, good-looking physique (and that
applies to both men and women – dear ladies, don’t be afraid you’ll get bulky).
Anaerobic exercise is characterized by short duration (up to 2 minutes
[xi]
),
high intensity activities that lead to increased strength, speed, power, and muscle
mass.
Good choices here include:
weightlifting – as already mentioned, it’s probably the best choice for most
people due to its ability to develop your entire body in perfect harmony (contrary
to a popular image, proper weightlifting isn’t about building huge biceps, but
about building a strong body with healthy proportions)
- sprinting –particularly hill sprints, which are safer for joints, more effective
for fat loss, and much more demanding than regular sprints on flat terrain
[xii]
.
- swimming – when done in short, high-intensity bursts of activity instead of
an hour-long marathon.
- yoga – can be a healthy way to build a well-rounded lean body for both
genders. Maintaining uncomfortable poses is, in itself, a great discipline-building
exercise.
- calisthenics (body weight exercises) – can be a perfect replacement for
weightlifting if you constantly progress to more difficult exercises.
All of these sports support building a balanced, muscular, and healthy body.
Getting these results is crucial in developing your discipline. Progress and
reward will fuel your efforts to keep going despite setbacks, though ideally, most
of your motivation should come from within – regardless of the results.
In addition to anaerobic activity, it’s good to introduce some variety to your
workouts and perform some aerobic activities as well.
I do them mostly not for the health benefits (which are still obviously
important), but for the enjoyment and the stress-reducing effect they provide
(just note it takes at least 10 weeks of regular exercise to experience significant
changes to your stress levels
[xiii]
).
It’s all connected with discipline as well – a relaxed individual has a much
easier time resisting temptations and sticking to his plan than an overstressed
person.
Here are a few ideas for aerobic exercises which are a lot of fun and provide
incredible health benefits:
- cycling – long rides can be demanding not only physically, but also
mentally, which makes it a perfect sport for building self-discipline.
- walking or jogging – simple, easy, cheap, and runner’s high
[xiv]
feels good.
- tennis – arguably one of the most difficult sports requiring a lot of self-
discipline to master even the basics.
- inline skating – a fun exercise that almost doesn’t feel like exercise.
- swimming – when not done in short bursts of high-intensity activity. One of
the best types of activities for obese individuals (swimming is lighter on your
joints than, say, jogging).martial arts – a huge aspect of martial arts is the mental development,
which makes it a perfect holistic exercise.
Thanks to reading
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